"Little" Bundle of Joy

Y'all, it's a teensy bit ridiculous that I'm only just blogging about my perfect little Phi Mu sister…

 I've been bragging on my own big since clue week of last year, so it baffles me how this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for so long! I honestly thought I published it last week!

The week leading up to the big reveal was so much less stressful for me this year. Last year, I spent the week worrying about who my big would be. Thoughts like "Will she like me?" "Did she even want me as her little?" filled my mind.

I had so much fun thinking of clues (and then accidentally giving myself away with unfortunately-timed Instagrams and our mutual love of Lilly Pulitzer).

I'm an only child in my family, so having two amazing "sisters" is practically a dream come true. 

I can't wait to see where these next few years take us! 

"Gotta' Send My Love Down to Baton Rouge"

If you follow me on Instagram, chances are you saw that I went to my first LSU game last Saturday! 

My amazing roomie who gave me a ticket and took me to the game! Love you, AC! 

I have to say, it was everything I imagined it would be and then some. Seeing my friends I hadn't seen in months was more exciting than the actual game (which turned out to be a bit of a let down, thanks a lot Mississippi State).

 I may have teared up when I saw some of my "mission friends."

I will admit that by the end of the third quarter, I was thoroughly exhausted from the long day of tailgating in the heat, and was glad when my friends announced they were ready to go home. We knew a comeback was just wishful thinking at that point, and I was happy to beat most of the crowds out of the stadium. 

I also have to say that while the tailgate and game was so much fun, I don't think I could deal with the giant campus and so many people all the time. I had a flashback to senior year when I was dead-set on going to school there. I'm so thankful that my roommate shared her extra ticket with me, and let me tag along with her to the game. Visiting was so much fun, and I hope I can go to another one soon, but I definitely don't regret my decision to go to Nicholls. 

Sara Bareilles Cover-Love

Guess whose life is still super crazy?

But between all of the week's to-dos, I've been listening to this song on repeat (mostly while perfecting the crafts for my little), and it's too perfect not to share with y'all! 

I really wanted to love the song Chandelier by Sia (my minor Dance Moms obsession being the driving force), but I just could not stand the song… Until I heard this Sara Bareilles cover of it. It's pure magic. 

Sara B has been one of my favorite singers for such a long time, too. I saw her live back in junior high and she was phenomenal (No pictures of me from that concert for the blog, though #awkwardphase)

Hippy-trippy photography courtesy of my eighth-grade self.

I'm a sucker for a good cover-song. Have you heard any other great ones lately? 

Being Thankful

Today's post was completely unplanned. In fact, I wasn't supposed to have time to blog at all this morning. If things had gone according to plan, I'd be scurrying out the door soon, on my way to Baton Rouge for my first LSU football game. I'd been looking forward to this for weeks and was so excited to reunite with some of my mission friends! I even bought a new dress for the occasion! 

Instead, I'm still in my pajamas, sitting in bed eating Eggo waffles with peanut butter and Nutella, and drowning my sorrows in chocolate almond milk. 

Of course, like many of my plans, today's seemed to fall apart. My dad suddenly decided that even though I've made the solo drive into the city before, I am no longer capable. He put his foot down and no amount of reasoning, begging, or tears could sway his decision. 

So now I sit, trying with all my might to be thankful and see a silver lining, when all I want to do is cry. 

It's so much easier to be thankful when everything is going your way, but times when we don't get what we want are when we've got to work that much harder to be grateful for what we already have.

I guess I'm thankful for loving parents, even if they show their love in the most ridiculous, nonsensical ways sometimes. I'm thankful for the friends that won't hate me, even though they went through the trouble of finding me a ticket to the game. I'm thankful for the sorority sisters who are still trying to show me silver linings ("More time to craft for your little!" & "You can come to the Nicholls game, now!").

I'm only letting myself be sad for thirty more minutes, then I'll dry my eyes, get dressed (maybe), and get to work on those crafts! Only 2 more days till Big/Little Week!

Recruitment Recap

Life's still as crazy as ever, but I've been wanting to share this video with y'all for a while.

This is Phi Mu's official 2014 Recruitment Video! I spent most of my free time this summer working on it, and then most of August stressing over the finishing details. Even though it's a little different than how I imagined it, I'm still super proud of it! I couldn't have done it without the help of our amazing chapter advisor. 

The first half is basically the last year summed up and then after the chant is what we did this past summer! 

In case you're curious about the Mardi Gras scenes, we had a big dance party to celebrate our last recruitment practice :) 

This was the video we showed at our Slideshow Night parties! (Remember my "what to wear" post?)

I'm super excited because our big/little week is next week! I can't wait to be a big sister!  ;)

That's What's Up

I was browsing through Spotify the other day when I ran into this song called "That's What's Up" by Lennon and Maisy (originally by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros). I must have listened to it at least 50 times since last week. 

My favorite verse: 
"While I was feeling such a mess, I thought you'd leave me behind. 
While I was being such a wreck, I thought you'd treat me unkind.
But you helped me change my mind."
Now that life's calmed down a little, I've had enough time to think back to the beginning of last semester. I was trying to figure out exactly what was going on last year so I searched through my tumblr archive. Turns out I was crying a lot over how happy I was to be a part of something like Phi Mu. I couldn't believe that so many girls would accept me the way just the way I was, broken and all, and actually wanted to be my friend. (Side note: not much has changed, still just as dumbfounded they still like me. #ConfessionsOfAGirlWithLowSelfEsteem)

But a little more digging reminded me that I was falling into a scary place, even though I was feeling so happy. I know I've mentioned my "eating issues," but I never went into much detail about it. 

It was about this time last year when I realized that my occasional binging and purging was becoming more than occasional. I have Phi Mu to thank for one of my best friends. One morning we got to talking over breakfast in the cafeteria (she was only a new sister and still very much a stranger back then). We were still getting to know each other and she said something like "Fun fact: I'm really big into eating disorder awareness stuff."(obvious paraphrasing). Of course I nearly choked on my scrambled eggs. The thoughts started running through my head: "How does she know? Can she tell? I thought I was being careful. No one knows." 

Well it turns out she had no idea that I was struggling (at least that's what she told me when I eventually told the rest of our sisters at retreat last year). I hadn't kept down a full meal in months, and it was becoming so bad really quickly. It sort of snuck up on me; I would be studying and find myself eating until I couldn't anymore and then would try to undo it. Luckily, I was able to talk with her and stop (for the most part) before it got worse. My poor roommate begged me to see a counselor, but I'm stubborn. Even a year later, I'm still just making progress. I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with stress in a healthy way. Some days are worse than others, and when I'm really stressed out (read: right now), things start getting dark again.  

I guess the point of this post is to remind everyone that when stress is piling on and big changes are happening (like starting college), these things can creep up.

My biggest problem was thinking "Oh, I'm fine. I'm not that bad." 
Newsflash: If you are having eating issues, chances are, you are definitely not fine. There's nothing "normal" about an eating disorder or disordered eating. It is that bad. If you think you might be in trouble, don't wait until it gets worse.  

So today I'm thankful. For the friendships I've made in the last year, for the steps that I've taken to become healthier, and for the sisters who stick by my sides in the good times and the bad. It's easy to get distracted by the stress and excitement that comes with the start of a new school year, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective this time around, and that's what's up.

White After Labor Day

One of my favorite post-labor-day quotes came from Lo Bosworth's Instagram (she and LC were my favorites on The Hills): When it's 90 degrees and 100% humidity, you're allowed to wear white after Labor Day. Or any day. ✌️

I couldn't agree more, Lo! In fact, I even wrote about why it's perfectly acceptable to continue wearing your whites in the latest edition of the Nicholls Worth

The exact outfit I wore yesterday (sans sweater because Louisiana's a bit warmer than the 'tucket)

Have you already retired your summer whites for the season even though we're only a week into September? 

New Beginnings + September Goals

There's something about the the beginning of September that just screams "fresh start!"

Yes, the weather in Louisiana is still its unbearable self, but you can definitely tell that the air will soon be taking on a bit of crispiness.

It's the start of football season, the start of our intramurals, the (relative) end of super hot/humid weather, and the beginning of the pumpkin season!

You know I've already gotten my Pumpkin Spice now that I'm a coffee addict drinker. 

Never thought I'd be looking forward to tailgates and football games! 

I can't wait for the temperature to drop a little more so that we can eno without sweating like sinners in church. Aren't my sisters precious? #enosofnicholls

Goals for the month:
- Make it into the rec center at least once or twice weekly
- Continue on with the whole "being open-minded thing"
- Make a new friend in each of my classes
- Improve my articles in the Nicholls Worth each week + better time management
- Hang curtains and pictures in my room
- Keep up with readings for literature class

Things you can look forward to seeing on my Instagram this month:
- Sisterhood Retreat
- Big/Little Reveal
- More rowing (we're finally an official club at Nicholls!)
- Phi Mu's Pink & Black social
- and possibly an LSU tailgate!